I've been away for too long
I was terribly busy enjoying my life to the fullest till I don't have the time to blog anything. And truthfully, I never had any ideas to tell something inspiring or anything. But now I'm writing this to tell you what I've been feeling when I'm with him.
I think this relationship will not last forever and I don't want to marry him. I don't like him touching me and I don't like being alone with him. I feel awkward every time he's with me when I'm walking with my friends. I feel uncomfortable when I'm taking my exam while he's there staring at me. Ugh I hate it when he holds my hands, I feel like it's the most repulsive action ever happening to me. Ever.
So yesterday night he called me. He asked me 10 questions and I hardly answered them all. I gave him shitty answers and I think he wasn't happy hearing it. Well I tried very hard to think, thank you very much. But... I also asked him something. Just one question till he's blue in the face. "Awak sayang saya tak?" He gave me a stupid, ridiculous, undesirable answer with a freaking empty emotionless voice.
" Jawapan tu nanti saya bagi kemudian. "
I'm confused. Do you really love me? Are you shy to admit that you love me? I don't think so. Speak now or forever hold your silence.
Labels: lovey-dovey, speechless
I am torn and now I'm in pieces
Mulai sekarang kita stop tulis pasal 'love life' kita dah. Bukan sebab apa, bila baca sendiri blog kita, kita yang rasa meluat. Macam nak muntah pun ada , kadang-kadang rasa macam nak tendang diri sendiri.
Kalau tengok title entry ni dah boleh tahu, mesti tengah sakit hati lagi dengan dia. Sekejap sukalah, sekejap bencilah. I know that it's really annoying for you to read a such dramatic blog, owned by you yourself truly. Tak boleh nak buat apa dah, rasa memang wajib luahkan perasaan dekat blog ni and share kepada semua yang membaca. Biarlah apa diorang kata pun.
"Ooohhh perempuan ni memang penuh dengan dramalah hidup dia." , "Padanlah muka. Siapa suruh ada boyfie." , "Mak aih gedik gila sial." , "Watafak, kau Melayu, berlagak speaking konon."
But still, those words are like sharp little thorns; they leave deep cuts even with the slightest motion of touching them. And for your information, those things that you complain and hate, are my natural inner self and that made me who I was yesterday, who I am today and who I will be tomorrow. It's my identity and everyone knows that I'm being original.
Even though tak ada orang berterus terang secara depan-depan dengan kita, kita tahu diorang akan fikir macam tu. Kita redha , buat apa nak kecoh-kecoh pasal benda remehkan. Judgementals macam diorang sangat dipenuhi dengan dosa , amat suka pertikaikan semua orang yang Allah sendiri cipta.
Oh well, challenges always await you. It's not life that goes on, it's you who must go on with your life.
Labels: emotionless, life, speechless
A speechless Thursday
 |
| and a craving Thursday. |
Labels: happy, speechless
Titleless
I've been stalking you since I confessed to you. I know that it's disturbing and I am sorry. But you were the one that gave me the urge to be a stalker. I don't know why I feel so attached to you. D;
I'm sorry to let you have a friend like me,
I'm sorry for letting you listen to my crazy confession,
I'm sorry for listening to your secret,
I'm sorry that you had to push yourself away from me,
I'm sorry for walking into your life,
and lastly
I'm sorry for everything .
Labels: speechless
OLDER POST
I've been away for too long
I was terribly busy enjoying my life to the fullest till I don't have the time to blog anything. And truthfully, I never had any ideas to tell something inspiring or anything. But now I'm writing this to tell you what I've been feeling when I'm with him.
I think this relationship will not last forever and I don't want to marry him. I don't like him touching me and I don't like being alone with him. I feel awkward every time he's with me when I'm walking with my friends. I feel uncomfortable when I'm taking my exam while he's there staring at me. Ugh I hate it when he holds my hands, I feel like it's the most repulsive action ever happening to me. Ever.
So yesterday night he called me. He asked me 10 questions and I hardly answered them all. I gave him shitty answers and I think he wasn't happy hearing it. Well I tried very hard to think, thank you very much. But... I also asked him something. Just one question till he's blue in the face. "Awak sayang saya tak?" He gave me a stupid, ridiculous, undesirable answer with a freaking empty emotionless voice.
" Jawapan tu nanti saya bagi kemudian. "
I'm confused. Do you really love me? Are you shy to admit that you love me? I don't think so. Speak now or forever hold your silence.
Labels: lovey-dovey, speechless
I am torn and now I'm in pieces
Mulai sekarang kita stop tulis pasal 'love life' kita dah. Bukan sebab apa, bila baca sendiri blog kita, kita yang rasa meluat. Macam nak muntah pun ada , kadang-kadang rasa macam nak tendang diri sendiri.
Kalau tengok title entry ni dah boleh tahu, mesti tengah sakit hati lagi dengan dia. Sekejap sukalah, sekejap bencilah. I know that it's really annoying for you to read a such dramatic blog, owned by you yourself truly. Tak boleh nak buat apa dah, rasa memang wajib luahkan perasaan dekat blog ni and share kepada semua yang membaca. Biarlah apa diorang kata pun.
"Ooohhh perempuan ni memang penuh dengan dramalah hidup dia." , "Padanlah muka. Siapa suruh ada boyfie." , "Mak aih gedik gila sial." , "Watafak, kau Melayu, berlagak speaking konon."
But still, those words are like sharp little thorns; they leave deep cuts even with the slightest motion of touching them. And for your information, those things that you complain and hate, are my natural inner self and that made me who I was yesterday, who I am today and who I will be tomorrow. It's my identity and everyone knows that I'm being original.
Even though tak ada orang berterus terang secara depan-depan dengan kita, kita tahu diorang akan fikir macam tu. Kita redha , buat apa nak kecoh-kecoh pasal benda remehkan. Judgementals macam diorang sangat dipenuhi dengan dosa , amat suka pertikaikan semua orang yang Allah sendiri cipta.
Oh well, challenges always await you. It's not life that goes on, it's you who must go on with your life.
Labels: emotionless, life, speechless
A speechless Thursday
|
| and a craving Thursday. |
Labels: happy, speechless
Titleless
I've been stalking you since I confessed to you. I know that it's disturbing and I am sorry. But you were the one that gave me the urge to be a stalker. I don't know why I feel so attached to you. D;
I'm sorry to let you have a friend like me,
I'm sorry for letting you listen to my crazy confession,
I'm sorry for listening to your secret,
I'm sorry that you had to push yourself away from me,
I'm sorry for walking into your life,
and lastly
I'm sorry for everything .
Labels: speechless
OLDER POST
de Princeszin
I love Food. I mean, why take drugs when there's food?
Name: Karmiℓa binti Kamℓi
Famous as: Iℓa
Birthday: 7 June 1997
Age: 14 years young
Stay at: Kajang, Selangor
Nationality: Malaysian
Language: Japanese ( :P ), English, Malaysian.
Dreams: Wanna be a
doctor and fly to
Russia
School: SMK Sultan Abdul Aziz Shah
BFF: Min, Sha, Irwan, Shera, Rin, Myrol, Kamal
Class of: 2010
Likes:
- Friendships
- Blogging
- BFFs
- Eating
Chocolate ice cream
- Chicken Chop
- Keychains
- Spongebob Squarepants
- Pastel colors
- Photography
- Female Kpop
- Japan
Hates:
- Anons, Haters, Copypasters
- Liar
- Slow internet connection
- Messy blog
- Serious people
- My own attitude