i ℓ a

I've been away for too long

I was terribly busy enjoying my life to the fullest till I don't have the time to blog anything. And truthfully, I never had any ideas to tell something inspiring or anything. But now I'm writing this to tell you what I've been feeling when I'm with him.

I think this relationship will not last forever and I don't want to marry him. I don't like him touching me and I don't like being alone with him. I feel awkward every time he's with me when I'm walking with my friends. I feel uncomfortable when I'm taking my exam while he's there staring at me. Ugh I hate it when he holds my hands, I feel like it's the most repulsive action ever happening to me. Ever.

So yesterday night he called me. He asked me 10 questions and I hardly answered them all. I gave him shitty answers and I think he wasn't happy hearing it. Well I tried very hard to think, thank you very much. But... I also asked him something. Just one question till he's blue in the face. "Awak sayang saya tak?" He gave me a stupid, ridiculous, undesirable answer with a freaking empty emotionless voice.

" Jawapan tu nanti saya bagi kemudian. "

I'm confused. Do you really love me? Are you shy to admit that you love me? I don't think so. Speak now or forever hold your silence.

Labels: lovey-dovey, speechless

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