I was terribly busy enjoying my life to the fullest till I don't have the time to blog anything. And truthfully, I never had any ideas to tell something inspiring or anything. But now I'm writing this to tell you what I've been feeling when I'm with him.

I think this relationship will not last forever and I don't want to marry him. I don't like him touching me and I don't like being alone with him. I feel awkward every time he's with me when I'm walking with my friends. I feel uncomfortable when I'm taking my exam while he's there staring at me. Ugh I hate it when he holds my hands, I feel like it's the most repulsive action ever happening to me. Ever.

So yesterday night he called me. He asked me 10 questions and I hardly answered them all. I gave him shitty answers and I think he wasn't happy hearing it. Well I tried very hard to think, thank you very much. But... I also asked him something. Just one question till he's blue in the face. "Awak sayang saya tak?" He gave me a stupid, ridiculous, undesirable answer with a freaking empty emotionless voice. 

I'm confused. Do you really love me? Are you shy to admit that you love me? I don't think so. Speak now or forever hold your silence. 

Have you ever wondered what will happen to you when your parents are gone? Will it make a big impact to your life? Will you have any regrets?

Here's something big for you to ponder about.

Imagine if you make something sinful to them before you can even apologize. When they call you, do you even answer them? Imagine if you never try to be helpful and always avoid when they ask you to lend a hand, and when they're gone you start to feel that you want to help them every second.

Imagine, imagine, IMAGINE all the things you've done and spoken of with them. Even if you think that it isn't a big deal, you never know whether they are hurt inside. And when you don't, you're not sorry. And as long as you're not, dosa takkan diampun. Think about it.

Do you know that when you say something terrible to them, sama ada mereka tahu atau tidak, korang dikira DERHAKA? Apatah lagi memukul mereka. An insolence, betrayer and a disrespectful child. I've heard people mencarut to their parents and it's so heartwrecking.

Kalau korang dalami betul-betul, sedih sangat sebab banyak dosa kita buat dekat mereka. So love your parents to the fullest because you never know when will God take away their lives.

For me, I'd rather die first before them. I may not be strong enough to watch them die , masyaAllah.